I am listening to the podcast 372 Pages We’ll Never Get Back. In episode 22-29 they discuss Tekwar.

372 Pages We’ll Never Get Back

Real or fanfic

The spreadsheet ! For the first time, the guessing skill was significantly better than flipping a coin! In 3 out of 6 episodes, all guesses were correct! Magnificent!

Summary of important advice

Consistency, continuity.

• Jake has no idea how Gomez got in / Jake (from his own perspective) gave him access recently.
• Anachronistic speech.
• It was Beth. But it wasn’t Beth.
• Jake hates androids. Jake finds android Beth beautiful. Jake calls her Beth.
• Complicated plan to get Jake where he was going anyway, almost killing him on the way.
• The cynical kid is suddenly naive and trusting.
• The hair of Gomez isn’t alive anymore. On the other hand, now he sounds like Swiers.

Be exciting. Have stakes.

• Sitting around and talking about people not there. Not action. Boring.
• First sentence in chapter: Jake woke up. Non-actiony.
• Mentioning a super interesting court case in passing only.
• 1st sentence: The aircar started to sputter. Flat.
• No stakes. Nobody’s using tek.

Flow. Chekhov’s gun.

• Suddenly a new conversation begins.
• Characters described in detail, but only appearing once.
• Hokori and Sands have been mentioned so many times and still haven’t appeared.
• We hear almost nothing about the tek war phenomenon.
• And then the big bad dies within seconds.
• Checkov’s password not used.

Originality.

• Stereotypical Mexico.
• A lot of crusty detectives.

Realism. Being human.

• Punishment = suspended animation? Rehabilitation?
• Print of various shapes. Triangular?
• Apparently the robot searched for information for 14 seconds and THEN said something. That’s a long time. And very specific.
• Odd dialogue to mention the year.
• They were ALWAYS razzing him? Because his father was THIN?
• Surprising your wife is a good idea.
• Noticing what’s usually there.
• In the future all areas will be sectors.
• A British robot in California.
• Jack is talking to himself, a lot.
• Noises from Jack’s own apartment? Draw a gun! Oh wait, it was just a vacuum starting at a weird time!
• Jack doesn’t understand the concept of recordings.
• Tapping out a very, very specific fantasy.
• Gomez’ hair is alive.
• His hair seemed to bounce.
• A colleague of Jake could clear his name, but wanted money first.
• Pointing upwards with the thumb.
• As you know, Bob. Persons telling each other what they already know. Instead of letting the narrator tell it.
• The term kamikaze isn’t well-known anymore.
• Slender, but pretty.
• 1940s movies are still well-known. Girl Friday.
• For 3 minutes the house is disappearing, and they just stand there.
• Do people leave forwarding addresses at hotels?
• Beth must be super hot. Universal agreement.
• Jake happens to know how to fix androids.
• Jake is really hurt by Beth sassing him.
• Both chrome and very life-like androids are available.
• Warbride whips up a mood and then stops.
• So many mechanical arms.

Variety.

• Robot printer, happens a lot.
• Repetition. All laughs sound weird.
• Stereotypes. Cab driver.
• Repetition. At what age did he marry?
• Repetition. The state of Chihuahua. The exact center/middle.
• Constant reminders we’re in Mexico.
• Keep repeating that Jake’s foot is booted.

Details: not too many, not too few.

• Chrome everything. Do we need to know the chrome man has a chrome brain? Keep reminding us.
• Some sort of smuggler. Assorted. Vague, shouldn’t have been mentioned in the first place.
• Apparently the robot searched for information for 14 seconds and THEN said something. That’s a long time. And very specific.
• Unsubtling: that coffin was where he slept.
• Wife’s full name, too much.
• Suicide committed suicide. Stop here?
• Including that the correct button was pushed.
• Noting a time period with a weird length and it wasn’t needed.
• She is naked. Also her shoulders are naked.
• If the wall had been there, he would have slammed into it.

POV. Tone.

• Gross. The hero craps his pants.
• Name, Hambrick, distracting, funny.
• Noir isn’t just talking about the darkness all the time.
• … said the robot pimp disdainfully.

Use words and phrases correctly.

• Calling something a sky or air (vehicle), with no explanation or significance.
• Something slightly resembles a laugh. What does it actually sound like?
• Lank, not lanky.
• Plas everything. Sounds futury, dumb.
• Pronunciation of lazgun?
• Where she stores her clothes is a habit.
• Shrugging one shoulder.
• Reinventing pleather.
• A lot of whilst.
• Italicized words are at this point fully integrated words from Spanish.
• Bad sentence structure. Adding amigo to a sentence in the wrong place. “It’s, amigo, a possibility worth mentioning.” “Until he showed up last night, I wasn’t even certain he hadn’t decided I was as crooked as everyone else thinks I am.”
• A quiet smile. They can be loud?
• Just adding moonbase at the beginning.
• Age = math exercise. ‘Jake said, “Hey, fifty-six isn’t that old. I’m little more than a half dozen years from there myself, Gomez.” ‘
• Xmas.
• A sentence changing pov and tense more than once.
• Not being consistent with whether plas-whatever is 1 or 2 words or hyphenated.
• Name, Hambrick, distracting, funny.
• Yes, but what color is licorice?
• Renaming cab to landcab.
• A quirky alley.
• Commence (used wrong), start, begin.
• So many commas.
• Bulbs of light.
• Going back and forth between human and cyborg.
• Place dialogue tag in the middle. “That sure isn’t,” complained Swiers, “going to help our case”.
• Using Warbride and Elana interchangeably.
• Passwords should be dramatic?
• Using tek to relive the path (as is or better) and create a better present. What else is there?
• Chinese in one sentence, Japanese in the next.

Other stuff

• Racism.
• Racist against robots AND Mexicans.

Ep. 22

Ranking.

1. Eye of Argon (most fun)
2. Cline

Ep. 23, ch. 1-7

Don’t do this

• Vehicles are sky or air. There’s a difference? What? Does it matter?
• Chrome everything. Do we need to know the chrome man has a chrome brain? Keep reminding us.
• Some sort of smuggler. Assorted. Vague, shouldn’t have been mentioned in the first place.
• Something slightly resembles a laugh. What does it actually sound like?
• Robot printer, happens a lot.
• Lank, not lanky.
• Punishment = suspended animation? Rehabilitation?
• Print of various shapes. Triangular?
• Apparently the robot searched for information for 14 seconds and THEN said something. That’s a long time. And very specific.
• Gross. The hero craps his pants.
• Unsubtling: that coffin was where he slept.
• Repetition. All laughs sound weird.
• Odd dialogue to mention the year.
• Plas everything. Sounds futury, dumb.
• Pronunciation of lazgun?
• They were ALWAYS razzing him? Because his father was THIN?
• Stereotypes. Cab driver.
• Racism.
• Surprising your wife is a good idea.
• Repetition. At what age did he marry?
• Noticing what’s usually there.
• In the future all areas will be sectors.
• A British robot in California.
• Jack is talking to himself, a lot.
• Noises from Jack’s own apartment? Draw a gun! Oh wait, it was just a vacuum starting at a weird time!
• Where she stores her clothes is a habit.
• Wife’s full name, too much.
• Shrugging one shoulder.
• Suddenly a new conversation begins.
• Suicide committed suicide. Stop here?
• Jack doesn’t understand the concept of recordings.
• Tapping out a very, very specific fantasy.
• Reinventing pleather.

Running gags

• Clinean.
• Ogden.

Oops.

• Odgen.

Real or fanfic, 44:22

• Mike guessing.
• Fanfic ✔️ Real ✔️ Fanfic ✔️ Fanfic ✔️

Ep. 24, ch. 8-11

Don’t do this

• Sitting around and talking about people not there. Not action. Boring.
• Jake has no idea how Gomez got in / Jake (from his own perspective) gave him access recently.
• A lot of whilst.
• Italicized words are at this point fully integrated words from Spanish.
• Gomez’ hair is alive.
• His hair seemed to bounce.
• A colleague of Jake could clear his name, but wanted money first.
• Bad sentence structure. Adding amigo to a sentence in the wrong place. “It’s, amigo, a possibility worth mentioning.” “Until he showed up last night, I wasn’t even certain he hadn’t decided I was as crooked as everyone else thinks I am.”
• Pointing upwards with the thumb.
• As you know, Bob. Persons telling each other what they already know. Instead of letting the narrator tell it.
• A quiet smile. They can be loud?
• Just adding moonbase at the beginning.
• Age = math exercise. ‘Jake said, “Hey, fifty-six isn’t that old. I’m little more than a half dozen years from there myself, Gomez.” ‘
• Xmas.
• First sentence in chapter: Jake woke up. Non-actiony.
• Including that the correct button was pushed.
• A sentence changing pov and tense more than once.
• Not being consistent with whether plas-whatever is 1 or 2 words or hyphenated.
• Name, Hambrick, distracting, funny.
• The term kamikaze isn’t well-known anymore.
• Yes, but what color is licorice?
• Slender, but pretty.
• 1940s movies are still well-known. Girl Friday.

Running gags

• Long pauses in dialogue.
• Seemed to.
• Talking to himself.
• Settle down.
• Nobody laughs normally.
• Fuzzy.

Oops.

• Self-correction is actually fine.

Real or fanfic, 55:35

• Mike guessing
• Fanfic ❎ Fanfic ✔️ Real ❎ Real ✔️ Fanfic ✔️

Ep. 25, ch. 12-15

Don’t do this

• Characters described in detail, but only appearing once.
• Noir isn’t just talking about the darkness all the time.
• Mentioning a super interesting court case in passing only.
• For 3 minutes the house is disappearing, and they just stand there.
• Renaming cab to landcab.
• Stereotypical Mexico.
• Racist against robots AND Mexicans.
• A lot of crusty detectives.
• Do people leave forwarding addresses at hotels?
• A quirky alley.
• Beth must be super hot. Universal agreement.
• Commence (used wrong), start, begin.

Running gags

• Meetings.
• Discreet openings.
• Doing nothing for minutes.
• Living hair.

Oops.

• Missed the explanation for which parts of the house are real.
• Cyborg and robot, not the same.

Real or fanfic, 58:10

• Mike guessing
• Fanfic ✔️ Fanfic ❎ Fanfic ❎ Real ❎ Fanfic ✔️

Ep. 26, ch. 16-21

Don’t do this

• 1st sentence: The aircar started to sputter. Flat.
• Anachronistic speech.
• Noting a time period with a weird length and it wasn’t needed.
• It was Beth. But it wasn’t Beth.
• Jake hates androids. Jake finds android Beth beautiful. Jake calls her Beth.
• Jake happens to know how to fix androids.
• She is naked. Also her shoulders are naked.
• So many commas.
• Repetition. The state of Chihuahua. The exact center/middle.
• Bulbs of light.
• Jake is really hurt by Beth sassing him.
• Constant reminders we’re in Mexico.
• Hokori and Sands have been mentioned so many times and still haven’t appeared.

Running gags

• Hot daughter.
• Settle down.
• Discreet openings.
• Ogden.
• Shatlard.
• A variety of classic 80s dance moves.

Oops.

• The 1st time a word was shortened was not. The actual 1st was pop(ulation).
• Taking charisma for beauty?
• Talking about the programming of an android, when she’s simply an upload of the real Beth and should talk like her.
• Odgen.
• Deus ex knacks.

Real or fanfic, 39:34

• Mike guessing
• Fanfic ✔️ Real ✔️ Fanfic ✔️ Real ✔️ Fanfic ✔️

Ep. 27, ch. 22-26

Don’t do this

• Complicated plan to get Jake where he was going anyway, almost killing him on the way.
• Keep repeating that Jake’s foot is booted.
• Going back and forth between human and cyborg.
• Both chrome and very life-like androids are available.
• Place dialogue tag in the middle. “That sure isn’t,” complained Swiers, “going to help our case”.

Running gags

• Odgen.
• Shatlard.

Real or fanfic, 41:47

• Mike guessing
• Real ✔️ Fanfic ✔️ Fanfic ✔️ Fanfic ✔️ Fanfic ✔️

Ep. 28, ch. 27-30

Don’t do this

• Warbride whips up a mood and then stops.
• So many mechanical arms.
• Using Warbride and Elana interchangeably.
• No stakes. Nobody’s using tek.
• Passwords should be dramatic?
• We hear almost nothing about the tek war phenomenon.
• Using tek to relive the path (as is or better) and create a better present. What else is there?

Running gags

• The sweating fat man.
• The exact center.
• Dialogue tag in the middle.
• Odgen.
• Lag.
• John Candy. Non sequitur.

Oops.

• She’s part cyborg.

Real or fanfic, 49:17

• Mike guessing
• Fanfic ❎ Fanfic ✔️ Real ❎ Fanfic ✔️ Real ✔️

Ep. 29, ch. 31-end

Don’t do this

• The cynical kid is suddenly naive and trusting.
• … said the robot pimp disdainfully.
• Chinese in one sentence, Japanese in the next.
• If the wall had been there, he would have slammed into it.
• And then the big bad dies within seconds.
• The hair of Gomez isn’t alive anymore. On the other hand, now he sounds like Swiers.
• Checkov’s password not used.

Running gags

• Settle down.
• Curing cancer in 1 sentence.

Oops.

• Not knowing the expression “tumble to”. Or keen as a verb.

A fanfic earlier was a rewrite of bits from the book. 😦

Quality: Between Cline and Theis.

1. Eye of Argon (most fun)
2. Tekwar
3. Cline