I am listening to the podcast 372 Pages We’ll Never Get Back. In episode 9-16 they discuss Armada.

372 Pages We’ll Never Get Back

Real or fanfic

The spreadsheet !

Summary of important advice

Consistency, continuity.

• Yawnsville the young man said.
• There’s an important difference between young Clark Kent and young Luke Skywalker?
• Claiming a group of real people made a game, when they don’t have the skills.
• The reasonable people are also villains.
• Mom uses a lot more time than is possible.
• The keying of a car is (not) very visible.
• Feels Star Wars fandom is embarrasing, then immediately forgets it.
• Claiming Edge of Tomorrow and Avatar can be crossed in a meaningful way.
• Being surprised when the same thing happens again.
• Humans are just apes. Oh wait, we’re not.
• Going from being shallow to caring deeply about the planet.
• Being in a hurry, but waiting for the other guy to turn around a corner.
• Anachronisms.
• Weak jokes, big laughs.
• People have learned something earth shattering, and they behave normally.
• Zack thinks some sf movies are bad?
• To my surprise I did something, I’ve done many times before.
• Is it power leap or power jump?
• Rocky Balboa does not sound like a person from Philadelphia.
• He detects irony, but it’s also lost on him.
• Dad had psychological issues, but wasn’t fired.
• Star Trek and Wars are important, but neither are really about aliens invading Earth.
• Admiral Akbar famously IDENTIFIES traps.
• Happily nodding while so many people just died.
• It makes no sense, I understand it perfectly.
• Society is mentioned, but it was actually 3 people.
• The swastika in the beginning was stupid, the aliens are smart.

Be exciting. Have stakes.

• A lot of pages, almost no plot.
• A list of years and events.
• Boring controllers.
• A fictitious ad.
• Someone playing a game.
• An unboxing.
• Battle cry: Let’s do diz.
• Show, don’t tell.
• But I’m agnostic! Simply don’t mention it.
• Lengthy recap of battle.
• Big news, father is alive, and it’s just said, dryly. Unforced error.
• Pregnant pause + stand for an awkward beat.
• Stereotypes.
• Repetition of phrases. Glance. Enormous x 2 in 1 sentence. Video.
• A list of snacks.
• All the letters from dad are included. No surprises.
• Description of battle, not engaging.
• Boring: navigating through menus.
• Repetition of words. Contorted (face). That playlist.
• Cliché ending.

Flow. Chekhov’s gun.

• Lex ex machina.
• Heavy or clumsy foreshadowing.

Originality.

• Flat out stealing Terminator.
• Stealing valor. Quotes by great people.

Realism. Being human.

• Eating 1 pop-tart?
• 18-years old and spitballs.
• Boy finds stack of video games, reads diary.
• Boy is satisfied with explanation for how dad died, but then turns 10.
• 10-years-olds have guilty pleasures?
• How many back to back to back viewings?
• The government controlled the ENTIRE video game industry?
• Dumb joke amused him EVERY TIME.
• Children like being bored by adults.
• My mom is insanely hot.
• My mother would protect me with heavy weaponry.
• Close to graduating high school, but has no plans.
• Just teenagers in general.
• Defending against aliens isn’t a team sport?
• The aliens move in very predictable 4/4 rhythms.
• Out of body. I heard myself gasp.
• That Hollywood plan was bad.
• High school seniors know they have father figures?
• Zack’s eating meatloaf, mom tries to slow him down every few minutes.
• A very long line in a conspiratorial voice.
• The voices of Sagan and James Earl Jones are wonderful/evil.
• Everything is either memorized or almost forgotten.
• Synchronized screaming.
• There’s a standard Nintendo controller?
• “Boom!” the 18-year-old said.
• Emotions bouncing around.
• Zack destroys a valuable ship, and the admiral is playfully sarcastic.
• Oh, and your father is a crybaby, said the admiral.
• The attack is in 5 hours! Also, here’s a uniform.
• Token Asian.
• A talks, all the time B is chuckling.
• People taking forever to recognize known motion.
• Zack doesn’t recognize praying.
• Very disdainful towards religion.
• Debbie has no answer to an attack on her religion.
• He missed that he might die???
• Feeling like a list of things.
• Everybody’s afraid, but father is delighted.
• Suddenly we’re in a hurry.
• Isolated people doing fine and making jokes.
• Being very surprised that father and son look alike.
• Suddenly sounding like Wodehouse.
• Every second counts and there’s time to talk hobbies.
• Soldiers shouldn’t have time for hobbies.
• You got my reference. Goofy grin.
• Dad’s mood swings.
• Zack can interpret all expressions.
• The admiral is very informal.
• Zack can identify fine bone china.
• Zack knows his own little tics.
• Even the new guy has given up on an error he just heard for the first time.
• The 3 top guys think there might be a conspiracy?
• Why all the secrecy?
• It doesn’t make sense dad makes this joke. Everybody makes the same kinds of joke all the time. Everybody’s the same person.
• Keep the war on drugs going until this gamer weed is perfected.
• Everybody’s so horny.
• How did Lex get promoted that fast?
• Gallows humor isn’t a well known word?
• Not checking the gym for people before shooting the roof.
• Long fingers. (Zack’s mom.)
• “Is that a tricorder?” End scene. (Was that a joke?)
• Being impressed by HD. On a small screen.
• Screaming for a long time.

Variety.

• New book, exactly the same style.
• Spitballs in school, cliché.
• A lot of Star Wars references.
• 2 Star Wars references close together.
• Repetition, cyclopean.
• Everything is instant. Everything is a million. Everything is exactly like… Make it smaller.

Details: not too many, not too few.

• Making a subtle reference, then immediately saying more.
• Excalibur, too much.
• Nobody wondered whether you lived close to school.
• Nobody wondered about eyewitnesses.
• An avatar controlling a drone, hard to visualize.
• Explaining what a taunt is.
• Revealing an incident, that was easy to guess.
• Comparing a shape to Arecibo, not very well known.
• Bad physical descriptions. Hard to imagine.
• When did they see the shuttles? When they were there.
• Oh, it’s your first moon quake?
• Rushed chapters, abrupt ending.
• A lot happens in 1 sentence, could be a separate book.
• How rankings work.
• And that was all it took.
• Seconds later: Reports are coming in.
• In 1 sentence: Clean abundant energy. Cures for cancer.

POV. Tone.

• … as it came to be known. When is the narrator?
• The narrator doesn’t know what is going on.
• Calling something a fun fact, when it’s not fun. And during a serious section.
• Comparing a battle to Christmas lights, popcorn and beer cans. Not very battle-y.

Use words and phrases correctly.

• The distant horizon.
• Using the same unusual word in 2 consecutive sentences.
• How should sobrukai glaive be pronounced?
• Cold pop-tarts are raw?
• The retro outfit was retro from day 1?
• What’s a Garp phase?
• Wanderlust.
• An actor nails a role, that was original.
• We went to their moon AND we have the home team advantage.
• It looked exactly like (what it was).
• I had never been so glued to a screen.
• People of Europa = Europans, confusing.
• Calling something a power leap.
• WTF. I nodded in agreement.
• … power lines like Godzilla. Mangled sentence.
• Almost as if. Which I actually had. (It only feels like a simulation.)
• I wish we’d met a long time ago, said the teenager.
• … but … Not contradictory.
• Wrong name, book of revelations.
• Seeing 20/20 out of the corner of his eye.
• Radiant doesn’t mean that.
• How to write out the Close Encounters melody.
• Not just using the word “said”.
• Mom was FOND of pointing out his gaydar was broken, OFTEN.
• Consistently calling a ship shaped like a dodecahedron a dodecahedron. It had 3 names!
• Being reminded of something that is exactly the same.
• Blushing visibly.
• Gross:
  • Sired.
  • Woman described in a creepy way.

Ep. 9

Review or review, 9:20

• Mike guessing
• RP1 ❎ Armada ✔️ RP1 ✔️? Armada ✔️ RP1 ❎

Real or fanfic, 19:57

• Mike guessing
• Fanfic ❎ Fanfic ✔️

Mike wants to some day do an Ernest Hemingway contest, just for Cline.

Ep. 10, ch. 1-3

Don’t do this

• In general: the style is painfully similar to that of rp1.
• A lot of pages and almost no plot.
• Distant horizon. Unnecessary word.
• Using the same word in 2 consecutive sentences.
• Yawnsville. Are you Fonzie?
• The sobrukai glaive. Pronunciation? Jerry Lewis!
• Eating 1 pop-tart?
• Cold pop-tarts are raw?
• Making a subtle reference and then unsubtling it.
• The retro outfit was retro from day 1?
• Spitballs. Clichés. Sounds too young.
• Excalibur, too many details.
• Answering an unasked question. Distance between school and home.
• Saying there’s an important difference between a young Clark Kent and a young Luke Skywalker.
• What’s a Garp phase?
• Sired. Gross.
• Boy finds a stack of games and reads a diary instead.
• Boy thinks a few details of father’s death were enough, but then he turned 10.
• Literally a list of years and events. Boring. No comments.
• 10-year-olds have guilty pleasures?
• How many back to back viewings, doing nothing else?
• The government controlled the ENTIRE video game industry?
• Wanderlust?
• That the tie fighter is involved in the naming AND LOOK of the Thai restaurant? Absurd.
• Dumb joke amused him EVERY TIME.
• Children like being bored by adults?
• Play a game where an avatar controls a drone.
• Boring controllers. And an ad for a fictitious store. Someone playing a game. And then an unboxing.
• Claiming a game was made by real world people without the needed skills.
• Stealing too much: This is Terminator.

Running gags

• Hauling ass?
• Rush is back!

Oops.

• No, the episode isn’t 6 hours long.

Real or fanfic, 27:00

• Mike guessing
• Fanfic ✔️ Real ✔️

Ep. 11, ch. 4-7 (until phase 2)

Don’t do this

• My mother is insanely hot.
• My mother would protect me with heavy weaponry. Really?
• The reasonable people are depicted as villains. Like his grandmother who didn’t like, that his mother dated a loser.
• His mother works, goes out to dance and watches a lot of television. When?
• He’s close to finishing high school and have no plans?
• Self awareness without taking action. Being embarrassed by his Star Wars fandom, but then keeps talking about it lovingly.
• Assuming people don’t know what taunts are.
• Not accurately depicting teenagers now.
• An actor nails an original part.
• Defending against aliens isn’t a team sport?
• We went to their moon AND we have the home team advantage.
• Layers of simulation. Hard to picture.
• Detailed description of a video game session.
• Battle cry: let’s do diz.
• The aliens move in very predictable 4/4 rhythms.
• The keying of the car is very noticeable but also not.
• Revealing an incident, that was very easy to guess.
• There’s no doubt, but eyewitnesses are important.
• How do we cross Edge of Tomorrow and Avatar?
• I heard myself gasp.
• He’s surprised by the spaceships, again.
• The Hollywood plan was bad.
• High school seniors know they have father figures?
• His real name is… Yawn.
• It looked exactly like what it was.

Running gags

• A lot of back to back viewings.
• Insert hot before mom.
• Rigs.
• Observing oneself doing stuff.
• It seemed like an eternity. (But it wasn’t.)

Oops.

• “Where they live” only means something literally?

Real or fanfic, 37:22

• Mike guessing
• Hint: 1 is real
• Fanfic ✔️ Fanfic ❎ Fanfic ✔️ Real ❎
• Conor guessing
• Fanfic ✔️ Fanfic ✔️ Real ✔️ Fanfic ✔️

Ep. 12, ch. 8-11 (to 12)

Don’t do this

• Humans are just apes. Oh, wait, we’re not.
• Going from being shallow to caring deeply about the planet.
• Clichés.
• Zack’s eating meatloaf, mom tries to slow him down every few minutes.
• A very long line in a conspiratorial voice.
• Make sure references are crystal clear.
• A lot of Star Wars references.
• Being in a hurry, but waiting for the other guy to turn around a corner.
• Woman described in a creepy way.
• Anachronisms.
• Weak jokes, big laughs.
• People have learned something earth shattering, and they behave normally.
• Repetition, cyclopean.
• The voices of Sagan and James Earl Jones are wonderful/evil.
• Everything is either memorized or almost forgotten.
• Show, don’t tell.
• I had never been so glued to a screen.
• Zack thinks some sf movies are bad?
• People of Europa = Europans, confusing.
• Synchronized screaming.
• There’s a standard Nintendo controller?
• But I’m agnostic! Simply don’t mention it.
• Calling something a power leap.
• WTF. I nodded in agreement.

Running gags

• Pendergast.
• Not in control of ones own faculties.
• Hot mom.
• Clinean: What if I won’t do it? You’ll be drafted. I will? No.
• Rig in scrotum.
• A female of the species.
• Glaive.
• Like a… No, it IS a…

Real or fanfic, 28:27

• Conor guessing
• Fanfic. ✔️ Real. ❎ Fanfic. ✔️
• Mike guessing
• Fanfic. ✔️ Fanfic. ✔️ Fanfic. ❎ Real. ✔️

Spoken word performance about “apes”: Dance, Monkeys, Dance .

Ep. 13, ch. 12-15 (up to 16)

Don’t do this

• … as it came to be known. When is the narrator?
• The narrator doesn’t know what is going on.
• Calling something a fun fact, when it’s not fun. And during a serious section.
• To my surprise I did something, I’ve done many times before.
• “Boom!”
• Heavy or clumsy foreshadowing.
• Emotions bouncing around.
• 2 Star Wars references close together.
• Everything is instant. Everything is a million. Everything is exactly like… Make it smaller.
• … power lines like Godzilla. Mangled sentence.
• Is it power leap or power jump?
• Lengthy recap of battle.
• Was it my imagination? Hm.
• Keep on trucking. Anachronisms.
• Almost as if. Which I actually had. (It only feels like a simulation.)
• Zack destroys a valuable ship, and the admiral is playfully sarcastic.
• Big news, father is alive, and it’s just said, dryly. Unforced error.
• Oh, and your father is a crybaby.
• The attack is in 5 hours! Also, here’s a uniform.
• Thank Zod?
• I wish we’d met a long time ago, said the teenager.
• Token Asian.
• Pregnant pause + stand for an awkward beat.
• A talks, all the time B is chuckling.
• Stereotypes.
• … but … Not contradictory.
• Rocky Balboa does not sound like a person from Philadelphia.
• People taking forever to recognize known motion.
• Zack doesn’t recognize praying.
• Very disdainful towards religion.
• Debbie has no answer to an attack on her religion.
• Wrong name, book of revelations.
• He missed that he might die???
• Comparing a shape to Arecibo, not very well known.
• Seeing 20/20 out of the corner of his eye.
• He detects irony, but it’s also lost on him.
• Feeling like a list of things.
• Everybody’s afraid, but father is delighted.
• Sci fi theft!
• Suddenly we’re in a hurry.
• Radiant doesn’t mean that.

Running gags

• … as it came to be known.
• Pendergast.
• This is like (forgettable movie).
• Repeating information in back to back sentences.
• Pregnant pause. Cline, take it easy. Also, settle down.
• Seemed to.
• Glaive.

Oops.

• Just doesn’t like that a flier jinked.

Real or fanfic, 30:05

• Mike guessing.
• Fanfic ❎ Real ❎ Fanfic ✔️ Fanfic ✔️

March 28th is Guntober.
Snake ‘n Bacon.

Picture of Daedalus:

Ep. 14, ch. 16-18 (up to 19)

Don’t do this

• Isolated people doing fine and making jokes.
• Overexplaining references.
• Repetition of phrases. Glance. Enormous x 2 in 1 sentence. Video.
• Stereotypical Asian.
• Being very surprised that father and son look alike.
• Suddenly sounding like Wodehouse.
• Every second counts and there’s time to talk hobbies.
• Soldiers shouldn’t have time for hobbies.
• You got my reference. Goofy grin.
• Dad’s mood swings.
• Zack can interpret all expressions.
• A list of snacks.
• Bad physical descriptions. Hard to imagine.
• The admiral is very informal.
• Zack can identify fine bone china.
• When did they see the shuttles? When they were there.
• Zack knows his own little tics.
• Even the new guy has given up on an error he just heard for the first time.
• The 3 top guys think there might be a conspiracy?
• Why all the secrecy?
• All the letters from dad are included. No surprises.
• Dad had psychological issues, but wasn’t fired.
• Star Trek and Wars are important, but neither are really about aliens invading Earth.
• Admiral Akbar famously IDENTIFIES traps.
• How to write out the Close Encounters melody.
• 250 pages. Still no plot.
• It doesn’t make sense dad makes this joke. Everybody makes the same kinds of joke all the time. Everybody’s the same person.
• Stealing valor. Quotes by great people.

Running gags

• Hot mom.
• Remember when our parents died?

Oops.

• Pronunciation of Das Boot.
• “Mispronouncing something wrong.”
• No, the episode isn’t 10 hours long.
• European/Europan.
• Yes, decahedron was corrected to dodecahedron. But it’s still described as a ten-sider with triangular faces.
• There are other ways to recognize a 20-sided shape than counting faces.

Real or fanfic, 44:22

• Mike guessing
• Fanfic ✔️ Fanfic ❎ Fanfic ✔️ Fanfic ❎ Fanfic ✔️ Real ❎
• Conor guessing
• Real ❎ Fanfic ❎ Fanfic ❎ ? Note that the 1st is Cline, but not Armada.

Inacronym, inaccurate acronym.
A clip will be posted, like hot dogs?
Live show coming up, will be recorded. (No, it won’t, unfortunately.)

Ep. 15, ch. 19-21 (up to phase 3)

Don’t do this

• The alien invasion still hasn’t begun!
• Keep the war on drugs going until this gamer weed is perfected.
• Not just using the word “said”.
• Mom was FOND of pointing out his gaydar was broken, OFTEN.
• Everybody’s so horny.
• How did Lex get promoted that fast?
• Gallows humor isn’t a well known word?
• Description of battle, not engaging.
• Comparing a battle to Christmas lights, popcorn and beer cans. Not very battle-y.
• Oh, it’s your first moon quake?
• I stab at thee, the Khan quote.
• Consistently calling a ship shaped like a dodecahedron a dodecahedron. It had 3 names!
• Boring: navigating through menus.

Running gags

• Golf ball atop a shot glass.
• Lag.
• Hauling ass.

Oops.

• Forgot Whoadie is a Shakespeare fan, or at least watched a lot of it.

Real or fanfic, 41:35

• Conor guessing
• Fanfic ✔️ Fanfic ✔️ Fanfic ✔️ Real ❎
• Mike guessing
• Fanfic ✔️ Fanfic ❎ Fanfic ✔️ Fanfic ❎ Real ❎

Ep. 16, ch. 22-end

Don’t do this

• Rushed chapters, abrupt ending.
• A lot happens in 1 sentence, could be a separate book.
• Lex ex machina.
• Happily nodding while so many people just died.
• Not checking the gym for people before shooting the roof.
• Long fingers. (Zack’s mom.)
• Repetition of words. Contorted (face). That playlist.
• “Is that a tricorder?” End scene.
• Being reminded of something that is exactly the same.
• Being impressed by HD. On a small screen.
• It makes no sense, I understand it perfectly.
• Blushing visibly.
• How rankings work.
• Screaming for a long time.
• And that was all it took.
• Seconds later: Reports are coming in.
• Cliché ending.
• Society is mentioned, but it was actually 3 people.
• The swastika in the beginning was stupid.
• In 1 sentence: Clean abundant energy. Cures for cancer.

Running gags

• Goods and services.
• Long fingers.
• Hot mom.
• Remember when our parents died?